With apologies.

A quiet weekend
Not much to do around here
Snow eating contest

My third eldest son
jumped me with a wet willy
Harpoon punishment

Frank Zappa once sang
Don’t You Eat That Yellow Snow
The fuck would he know?

A friend challenged me
Spend the afternoon shoeless
The frostbite’s on him

Slaughter a walrus
Eat that shit sashimi style
with no condiments

The strange white guy says
Again, for the camera
But I can't be arsed

Blizzard’s on its way
The igloo’s misbehaving
No complaints from me

Don’t need no TomTom
Google Maps is for cowards
Huskies will guide me

This here is Nyla
She is my beautiful wife
Except she isn’t